The Mountain is You: My Blossoming Problem

Have you ever read something that felt like it was meant for you to see? When you realize that not only must others experience this, but enough that an author wrote about it...

That’s how I felt when I began Brianna Wiest’s book The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery. It was recommended to me on Spotify, and since I’m easily influenced and enjoy self-help books under 6 hours, I started listening.

The following quote made me pause and rewind it three times before I was ready to move on and keep listening:

"In uprooting, you are not allowing yourself to blossom; you are only comfortable with the process of sprouting."

As a serial-uprooter, I was taken aback. My life as a travel physical therapist, and possibly even before then, has revolved around “not letting the grass grow under my feet,” as my Grandee puts it. Wiest says that people who frequently change jobs, relationships, or living situations can avoid confronting deeper issues, as the attention is diverted to the process of "sprouting" rather than allowing oneself to bloom.

Here’s what I found right and wrong with that: 

I love change. I want to be in new places, exploring all corners of the town, observing the locals, and learning their favorite parts about living there. I love sprouting. I want to be challenged in my job, feel the first-day jitters, shake hands, and get to know people whose paths I’ve never crossed. I love growing. I want to try settings I’ve never worked in, absorb new treatment methods and documentation systems, learn new systems and processes, and become a better clinician.

And, I came here with the intention to blossom. My intention in taking this particular contract was to decide if outpatient orthopedics is in my future. Having been in most settings, outpatient orthopedics is my final hurdle. With this setting will come new diagnoses, new thought processes and problem solving, and a lot of learning. While I waver between the idea of continuing to travel, I came here hoping I could solidify at least a piece of my future—if not where I work, at least what setting I want to work in.

So, what’s left for me to consider is “what I am avoiding?” In order to blossom, you have to grow roots—and the last time I experienced that was in 2022. Leaving Oakland, CA as a travel PT meant leaving behind a group of friends, my home yoga studio, a great work environment, and my vision of the future.  Now, the roots I grow are much more shallow to avoid the hurt of leaving, communication fading, and a fear of being forgotten.  Perhaps I’m not as afraid of blossoming as I am of putting down roots.  

As I continue reading The Mountain is You, I take solace in knowing that others may experience this – that it may be directly related to upper limiting, irrational fears, or plain old bad habits. There are things I can conciously address along the way to "self-mastery" (whatever that is). I am comforted by the idea that there is beauty in sprouting. And, I am curious if travel healthcare could ever coincide with rooting down, or if both cannot be true at the same time.   

What are your thoughts? How does this fear of blossoming show up in other ways in our lives?  Leave me a comment or send me a thoughtful email upsidedownphysio@gmail.com.

Your friend,

Kaylee

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Kaylee is a travel Physical Therapist who received her doctorate degree in 2020 from The University of Miami.  She is currently on her first outpatient orthopedics assignment. Kaylee is passionate about all things yoga, neuro-rehab, and limb loss and limb difference rehabilitation demonstrated through practice, continuing education and advocacy.  You can join Kaylee’s Intro to Yoga series on Youtube, or take classes from her library of videos.