I have returned to a dedicated practice (unlike my writing). While on my last contract I was taking Bikram style classes, I am currently at a studio where I'm experiencing gentle morning vinyasa, juicy afternoon power flow, and 2x/week Barre classes. I am enjoying learning from new teachers and making new considerations along the way. For instance, moving laterally from the mat, application of slower warm ups and a single flow with several rounds of repetition. The practice has continued to fascinate me, draw me in, hold me and ground me. What has been a significant challenge lately, though, is identifying my intention.
To remind you, in my Bikram classes and during that period of practice, my intention was consistent: strive to be and do my best. Perhaps it was my personal goals dictating my mentation, perhaps it was the intensity of the practice, but I felt called to this intention almost daily. Now, the conversation with my brain, body and environment sounds much different. My goals and attention have shifted. I get to the top of my mat and I can think of no other intention than "to move my body." I remind myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but have become frustrated because I feel that there is something more I should be doing.
Is there something more I should be doing?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
Simply, no. There isn't more to do on the mat than move my body. BUT part of me feels resistant to this. Is it lackadaisical to avoid the discomfort, when my practice was so deeply about exploring that discomfort before? Am I okay with being soft and gentle to my body, to myself?
I have an idea. Perhaps I can explore the idea of setting an intention for the day and weave that into my practice. So that I don't feel like I'm putting myself on the spot during class and so that I can find inspiration outside of the asana. I will report back.
Always,
Kaylee
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